Friday, May 16, 2014

Dealing with the blues and discouragement...


 A week or so ago I received the comments from the judges at the Mancuso quilt show in Denver.  Fairy Godmother's comments from Shrek came to mind almost immediately... 



No, I didn't eat all this ice cream --- but it was close.  5 pounds later I'm ready to quilt again.  The judges didn't like the way I had quilted the mountain portion of the bottom of Night Hunter. (My hawk and moon quilt, one of my best quilts I thought!)


Hubby said I should ignore the comments, that they were just personal biases and opinions that the judges had and not a true reflection of the quality of the quilt.  If you look back to that blog entry, you'll see the bottom where I 'pieceliqued' string pieced blocks and some appliqued patched. When I quilted these, I just ran wavy quilting parallel to those shapes and in a somewhat random fashion.  The judges wanted those lines straight and evenly spaced. I wanted a ripply light effect.... sigh.

Anyway, the negative comments threw me for a loop and I've spent the last couple of weeks full of self doubt and discouragement.

Today I finally plucked up the courage and decided to quilt again. So here we are, I'm working on my sunset, adding curly coos, and tiny loops to imitate tiny leafy foliage. 
  
Quilting progress 1

Quilting progress 2
So, what are my words of wisdom when facing discouragement?

Try to remember why you started quilting in the first place.  Was it for ribbons? No. It was for the fun of the fabric, the possibilities for exhilarating color and patterns, and to give voice to a creative urge within your heart and spirit.

Second, look carefully at the judges comments and try to evaluate your quilt with their eyes.  It took me a while, but when I finally did, I saw what they saw. My quilting looked sloppy. Though I wanted the light colorful thread to lead the viewers eyes down the mountains, I didn't create the look that I wanted.  They were right, I could do better.

Chocolate can be a good friend at times like these right? On the other hand, I'd feel better about myself if I exercised some self control and didn't self medicate with food, lol.

Know what? I'm going to be ripping out the quilting at the bottom of Night Hunter and redoing it.  Later. Much later. In the meantime I'm back to having fun with what skill and voice I have.  I hope you do the same!

Comments welcome. :)

20 comments:

  1. So sorry to hear you've been in the dumps over the judges' comments, but I like the way you talked youraelf back up. It's HARD to expose your work to the world and find that some don't like some parts of it as well as you do. I agree with your husband, that judging can be a subjective thing, but I admire the way you tried to see the matter through their eyes. I especially LOVE that you get back in touch with why you started quilting in the first place. And congratulations on being brave enough to submit your quilts to shows in the first place!

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    1. Thank you Laura. It has been a time of re-evaluation that's for sure! I felt like Night Hunter was one of my best quilts so criticism was extra hard to take. I am up and running again though, trying new things and challenging myself. Thank you for encouraging me and agreeing with me that the main reason we quilt is to create and enjoy, not compete. :)

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  2. Ditto to everything Laura said! Your work is stunning - the piece you are working on now looks fabulous. You are definitely achieving the tiny foliage look!

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    1. Thanks! I will confess that quilting curly coos over and over is getting tedious, lol. I'm almost done with the tree though and then can move on to the sky which will be more fun. Thanks again for writing. Cathy

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  3. Thank you for your words of wisdom, Cathy. I have been having a discouraging day. You are sew right. We have to remember what the focus is.... And quilt on!

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    1. Hi Lorna, did you see the latest Batman movies? There is a quote I was thinking of - at a particularly discouraging moment Bruce W asks his butler and friend Alfred "Why do we fall?" and Alfred answers "So we can learn to pick ourselves up." Sometimes I think we grow the most when we get over discouragement and pick ourselves up and continue on. I hope you find encouragement soon!
      Cathy

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  4. This was a great post! Thanks for sharing. :)

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  5. Well thought comments, all. I've never entered a show, but I already know I'm very thin-skinned and would be devastated and discouraged.
    Moving on to a different project would uplift ones spirits, but in the long run, dealing with the criticism is very wise, indeed. I respect your choices.

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  6. If you ever have an opportunity to assist the judge at your local quilt show, it is very enlightening. There is a lot of subjectivity and the "best" quilts in the bunch are often nick picked over. Often the small details of a quilt make a difference and sometimes, if the quilt is outstanding overall, some details might be overlooked. Each quilt is compared to the others in its category, and the "best" quilts are set aside for another look later. It's a process of elimination according to the judge's preferences.

    You are right to remember why you made your quilt to begin with. Sometimes your vision is totally different than what the judges see, and that's okay. I enjoy the process of making a quilt. The end result reflects the planning, attention, and thought process of that particular quilt's journey. Personally, I wouldn't redo the quilting. Take the judge's comments and work that into a different quilt.

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    1. You know once a long time ago I did help judge a contest at a state fair quilt show in Idaho. I had forgotten about that... you are absolutely right that when they have narrowed quilts down to the best of the lot, they have to get very picky. AND to make matters harder on them, sometimes the quilts are like apples to oranges, they are completely different styles and techniques. It would be very hard for them to pick.

      Thank you for writing and I'll think about redoing the quilting. A friend of mine wrote me and told me not to do it as well. We'll see. I guess I'll let it all sit for a while and see how I feel about it. You are right about our individual 'vision' when going through the process of making a quilt and all the little steps and decisions we make along the way. :)

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  7. I refer to myself as "The Imperfect Quilter" because I refuse to be anal about everything and make sure all my corners match perfectly, etc. As a Registered Nurse, I have to be more anal about my job, so I refuse to carry the stress of perfectionism into my hobbies. I'd be frustrated all the time and never get anything done. I have resolved to just enjoy the process. For this reason, it's not likely I will ever submit a quilt for judging.
    Glad you learned something from the process, but do NOT be too hard on yourself. I would be a lousy judge of quilts as I would just choose what I like visually, not necessarily how it was stitched or how pointed the stars were...

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    1. Thanks for the encouragement. I envy you in a way. I've been quilting for so long now and I'm an author and so I hold myself to higher standards... standards that frankly given the fantastically perfect quilting systems out there I'll never compete well with. (Should that have a run on sentence alert!?)

      To be able to just play and not have any pressure to succeed with regards to judges and shows and projects for books would lend itself to great freedom. I kind of miss the old days come to think of it! I've had more people write to me about this, via facebook too, etc. and it has been really good to re-evaluate my love of quilting, competition and what I really enjoy the most - that is promoting the hobby and inspiring others. Thanks again!

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  8. I think the letter you posted from Penne on Facebook was spot on. It is easy to get into the comparison game and always feel lacking compared to others. There are so many amazing quilts posted online that are inspiring... but it is also defeating to compare yourself to others who are the tip top 1% in the world, and who have likely been working a lifetime to perfect a certain technique. How can the rest of us ever measure up?? Well, we can't. We have to just focus on doing our best work and enjoying ourselves, and enjoying fellowship with others who appreciate quilting. "Comparison is the thief of joy" and I also think "judging is the thief of joy"!!

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    1. Penne's letter was profound to me too. I printed it out in fact and will keep it in my sewing room. I hadn't thought about the fact that the tippy top quilters probably have spent years and years perfecting their technique. I think I might get bored with that... I like trying new things. (Case in point - that tree I'm working on.) I like what you said about comparison being a 'thief of joy'. That is good. Thank you for writing Susan!

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  9. Very thoughtful and helpful post. Getting negative comments can really take the wind out of your sails.

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    1. It sure can. Thanks for writing and I am glad you found this helpful. I think this whole process has changed me in that I'm going to give myself permission to play with my quilting more and strive for perfection less... if that makes sense. I put pressure on myself at times because I compete at quilt shows. I think I'm going to get back to play. (Which is just in time, I'm about buried under mounds of leftover strips and scraps, lol!)

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  10. Chocolate and red wine then work on an "ugly". I have a pile of small quilt sandwiches piled in the corner that when I'm having a bad day I go nuts on. No one is going to see them but me. Then I sash them together (quilt as you go style) and they actually look pretty decent. Good enough to donate to the local shelter...

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    1. What is it that Bonnie Hunter says? (The queen of scrap quilts, lol.) Something like - if it is still ugly you haven't added enough scraps?! Chocolate and red wine IS heart healthy, lol. :)

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